I have Kelby to thank for the main activity at the Front Porch Library today. He came to the food distribution last night and asked, “What are we doing at library tomorrow?” I told him I didn’t know yet. He said we should talk about conspiracy theories. He then went on to tell me one of his.
“Did you ever notice at pizza places that sometimes the edges of the pieces don’t really line up? That’s because they take the uneaten slices of pizza left on the table and assemble them into new pizzas….” Hmm, think about it.
That sent me into the dark corners of the internet. So, we began our discussion by talking about conspiracy theories that are widely held, but dubious, like the illuminati, the group that really rules the world, or the fact the FDA and the pharmaceutical companies are hiding the fact the cure for cancer exists, or the fact the moon landing was faked.
In order to be fair and balanced we looked at conspiracy theories that were true, like the fact that during Prohibition the government actually did poison alcohol, or that at least technically we have had a female president (after Wilson had a stroke his wife made all the presidential decisions for more than a year), and that, yes, the FBI did spy on John Lennon.
Then I had a list of topics about which we could make our own theories. Dogs? Another form of human (Olivia’s theory). They are smart, sympathetic, they prefer our company to that of other dogs. The number eight is the endless number–turn it on its side and it is the symbol for infinity. Mosquito bites are the way tracking devices are implanted–just look for the little red spot where the bite occurred–those tracking devices are tiny. Instant mashed potatoes? There are no potatoes involved. We sat in a circle like the bunch of conspirators we were.
We had a new boy, Adrian, we share that great name. He is four. He was more interested in the gravel in the driveway than conspiracy theories.
We also did two experiments about locating the center of gravity. My favorite involved balancing a yard stick on a glass, then putting something on one end and sliding the ruler until the new center of gravity was found.
We had a fine old time at the FPL. Devil’s food cake too.